Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize