i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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