saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
