I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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