You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
