I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
