she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize