How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
