there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
