she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
