ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
