yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
