Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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