Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
