I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Is it penis luge time yet?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
