I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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