y did u give ur computer a hand job?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize