i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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