My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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