I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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