Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
