Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
