how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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