well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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