I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
