Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
