I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ambien. No doubt about it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize