Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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