apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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