She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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