I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
