and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
