do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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