That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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