bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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