everyone is single if you try hard enough
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Panties = found
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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