yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Life is so much better after having sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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