It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
