You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
