BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
