ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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