Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
