it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
