Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
