Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
