I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
they need to just BURY HIM!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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