She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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