do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
