my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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