but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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