I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
