I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
