you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
