id be glad to
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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