i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize