They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter