Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type