OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
