Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone

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(215): some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone http://tfl.nu/uc8d

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(757): View more from Virginia

There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.

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(757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/cpsh

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(415): View more from California

I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny

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(415): I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny http://tfl.nu/icdv

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(502): i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'. http://tfl.nu/b21s

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(352): View more from Florida

She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"

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(352): She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?" http://tfl.nu/uzh1

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(314): View more from Missouri

i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

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(314): i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave http://tfl.nu/l2ny

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(856): View more from New Jersey

we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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(856): we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon" http://tfl.nu/pn3g

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(646): View more from New York

So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking

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(646): So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking http://tfl.nu/bz34

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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(919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa

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(319): View more from Iowa

I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover

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(319): I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/oafl

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(647): View more from Ontario

well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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(647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!

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(973): They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on! http://tfl.nu/sa0h

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(216): View more from Ohio

I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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(216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours

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(508): Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours http://tfl.nu/2ezn

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.

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(715): We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her. http://tfl.nu/sx8g

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