What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
