And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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