I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
