After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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