Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
