Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
