Your mouth is God's brothel.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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