the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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