Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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