You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
